I’ve had my mind on my mother for the past few weeks. She died of cancer back in August 2006. Just prior to Christmas of 2007 (a little over a month ago) dad called to tell me he had gotten himself engaged and was going to be married on March 1. I knew that he and mom had talked about him getting remarried. He said mom used to kid him and say “what makes you think anyone will want to marry you?” which sounds just like mom. I also knew that dad and mom had been married for over 50 years and he had never really been alone. And he didn’t like it. I fully understood his desire for companionship. He can actually be a pretty social guy.
So my family is a bit disjointed. We live here, there and everywhere, and have no real organized events except for life activities such as births, marriages and deaths. There’s a 23 year gap between the oldest sibling and the youngest. There are 9 children, some 43 grandchildren, and over a dozen greatgrandchildren at this point, so the idea of us trying to “adopt” a stepmom sounds, well, just a bit amusing to me. And the idea of trying to infuse this family with five of Lisa’s children will be entertaining (as in a trainwreck sort of way) to watch. I don’t envision any fairy tale reunions in the future, if you know what I mean. I am a cynic, however, so take it for what it is worth.
Anyway, Marleen (sibling #5) is helping to plan the wedding since she is down in Bloomfield by dad. She told me that both dad and Lisa were intent on making sure there was something in the ceremony to honor their dead spouses, so they are going to have a symbolic rose as part of the ceremony, one for mom and one for Lisa’s husband who passed away five years ago. Some siblings are a bit concerned about the speed and unfamiliarity with which dad has entered into this engagement, which is a bit understandable. I think we all realize, however, that we are talking about our 78 year old father here. If he isn’t grown up enough to make wise choices by now, there really is no hope for the guy.
I was looking through a family poetry book last night and found one my littlest sister Connie wrote about mom. I thought it was nice, so I’m sharing.
Always my Mother
There’s a story in my heart
Being written every day
About my dreams and my life
And the part you’ve always played
Your face is blurred
Your touch is gone
But I can see your eyes
And for their love I’ll sing my song
Every day, through the hours
In my failings, in my powers
You’re always there
In the sky above
In the child’s face
I feel you very near
Your memory could never be erased
And though the years are long
Since I have seen your loving smile
I know you’re walking with me
All the while. ~Connie Lee Cluff Adams~